Let’s shift gears a little. I’m asking this question based on our earlier discussion about your coloring books representing a diverse range of people from around the world. What do you think belonging and community mean to you?
At the end of the day we crave belonging and significance. That’s why the pandemic was so damaging in a lot of ways. The isolation was unbearable for some. I know I had a hard time. Belonging and significance it’s the first things we look for, how do I belong? I want to make friends. That doesn’t stop being a need, a human need. I’ve always been a singer songwriter, performer, like putting myself out there. I’ve done that always and it’s a beautiful thing, but it also creates this need for attention and approval, right. I am always asking myself, is what I’m doing good enough? Am I giving my audience what they are looking for? I want to make a positive impact, I want to inspire, I want people to find their story and their inspiration to do the things that they can do and to feel empowered. All of that is part of belonging and community. I believe community is the answer to feeling like you belong and having significance.
As I listen to you, it’s clear that you have a lot of talents and responsibilities. You’re great at singing, you’re working on your third coloring book, and you also do social work. I’m curious, how do you balance all of these things and still maintain a healthy work-life balance?
Work and life are my balance. I was challenged by a very good friend recently. He asked me ‘SoJay what do you do to just relax?’ My answer was, networking. (laughs) I’m working on actually finding that balance. One of the quotes from my book is to ‘create the type of life that you don’t need to take a vacation from’. I am doing that because I have control of my time, because I don’t have to be somewhere when somebody else says that I need to be there. It gives me that sense of peace. I can have this conversation with you and the time to prep, and read through the questions and I didn’t have to rush in from work and, and and. You know what I mean? That’s my balance. It’s like all the cliches, do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. I’ve created that for myself and it’s very important to hold on to that because I am at a transitional stage. You know, if too many catastrophes happen consecutively, I might have to get a ‘real’ job (laughs) and I don’t want that. I don’t want that. So, I’m holding on to the peace I created and that I am creating and that balance with every action I take.
You are a life coach and an inspirational speaker. What motivated you to go that route? Or is this part of just being this creative person?
I wanted to be a life coach after going back to school and becoming a child and youth counsellor and working in that field. You know, it’s part of what you do. It’s part of how you support and how you show up is coaching and counselling. I had gone to Miami for a bit and I was watching videos of Tony Robbins and his coaching style. I was also watching Lisa Gibson and a couple of other speakers. I was inspired and thought that ‘Oh, maybe I could do this. I think I could do this.’ Then, you know, life happened, and I allowed myself to get derailed. That was back in 2012. Fast forward more recently, I met a young man at a vendors market who has his own business as a personal trainer and we clicked. I became one of his clients. Signed up with him for 5 or 6 months. I didn’t even know that’s what I had done! I was like ‘Oh, I have to pay this every month?’ It ended up being a great experience and got me out of my bed early and we would just get into deep conversations while he was training me. I think it was maybe a month or so and he said ‘I can learn a lot from you. I just love our dialogue, our conversations. You have so much knowledge and information.’ Then he asked if I would coach him. It almost made me cry. I was humbled. I was flattered. It reminded me that I wanted to do this at one point. He became my first coaching client. I think describing myself as a creative person really just keeps me open to different experiences and I turn those experiences into ways that I can give back.
When coaching someone, can you explain the process? Do they communicate their goals and vision, and then you help them develop a plan to attain them or does it occur organically?
Good questions. Different coaches do things differently. My process is more organic. I’m simultaneously analytical, creative and intuitive and I meet people where they’re at. I bring all of that to the table to empower and to help somebody find what’s in them. You know, a lot of us don’t have people who are cheerleaders in our lives so having someone sit with you and say, I notice you, I see your strengths, I see what you’re capable of. That’s a great place to start and over time the relationship grows. Of course there are initial questions and things that help me to get to know the person but then it’s being intentional about speaking life into somebody, highlighting their strengths and then showing them how they can use what they already have to attain what they want. It’s helping them to connect those dots because life doesn’t do that.
What does success look like for you and how do you define success?
Again, it’s the ability to control my time and having financial independence. In my opinion, finance is infinite and its currency, its energy and should be seen as such. It is to be utilized to buy your time back. Time is also infinite, but you can’t get it back either. Once you spend it, you can’t get it back and you don’t know when it’s going to end. So, to be able to have the ability to buy your time back so that you can do whatever you want to do when you want to do it, that’s success.
What advice would you give to anyone who is thinking about starting their own business?
To just do it. Do not worry about how. Just start. That sounds a little ambiguous, it’s about not being afraid to take the first step. Don’t overthink it. Sometimes our brain starts spinning about how daunting it’s going to be and then you freeze and you’re like, ‘Oh, that’s too much. I’m not going to do it.’ I think the simplest thing is to just start and then pay attention to how it makes you feel when you do.
As I am listening to you, I am wondering if you have to have a certain type of personality to be willing to take that first step, be willing to take a risk?
It might be. I am open to risk and taking risk. I think therein lies another reason why we would need a life coach. To help develop that in you and help you see the benefits of taking that step. If you talk to most high achieving individuals they’re going to tell you that you jump first and figure it out after. It’s about finding ways to share these concepts, the strategies that are known to work in a way that’s relevant to you? That’s where the shit happens but it’s also understanding that it is not going to be and I hate this line, but I’m going to say it – it’s not going to be easy. I don’t think it’s intended to be easy. It’s intended to be exciting and challenging and triumphant. You get through the lows to get to the highs. My coach told me that it’s not about failing or falling, it’s about how fast you bounce back. It’s about resiliency. You know, from a human standpoint, we are wired to stay in a safe place, where it’s not going to hurt too much or disrupt our comfort too much. To make any change you have to be ok with discomfort and support while you are doing the uncomfortable is comforting. (laugh)
Your comments remind me of a video of a female coach from Duke University encouraging her players to embrace difficult challenges. She told them they had to get used to doing hard things. That’s why sharing stories is so important. It allows us to learn from each other.
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. That’s a great lesson for young people, too. You know, when you watch children do something, say like trying to climb an apparatus, they take a couple steps and they’re like, yeah, it’s too hard. I’m not going to. This is the foundational stuff. You know, if you’re not going to try to climb a jungle gym or apparatus at five, then how are you going to progress in anything in life and that’s self-confidence, self-esteem knowing that you can and then recognizing that things are not going to just fall into place. You’re the one who’s going to create the situation, the circumstances, the opportunity by doing something, by taking action. I ran out of gas the other day. I am constantly testing my gas tank, you know that E stands for enough. (laughs) One time I, was on the highway, and I had a feeling that I was going to run out of gas. So, I got off of the highway and as soon as I was off the highway, I ran out of gas. I was able to pull over on the road here in Brampton (Williams Parkway) and the car stopped.
I had a choice. I could sit in my car, maybe make a couple of phone calls or I could push. I had somewhere I needed to be. I know for some people pushing would not even be a choice but for me I needed to do something. I needed to take action for, me picking up the phone and calling because I was thinking like, who? Who would I be able to call? You know, I don’t have a gentleman in my life, my sister was at work there wasn’t anybody who would be able to get to me. I decided I was going to get out and start pushing. I guess it was unusual seeing a woman pushing her car. People were watching me like, what! A guy stopped and asked if I needed help? I said absolutely! He went and bought me gas. I was trying to pay him for it and he said No, just have a great day. Had I not gotten out of my car he may not have stopped. I was not a damsel in distress but I created an opportunity to get help. You create your possibilities. You create your opportunities by taking action. And that’s why I say don’t talk yourself out of doing something, talk yourself INTO doing it. You already know what NOT doing it will look and feel like so why not try something different. Just take the first step. Taking action builds momentum, which makes it easier to move forward.
I love that! That is a great story. A few more questions and then we will close. How do you remain authentic?
Engaging in self-reflection and understanding how I want to present myself in the world—how I want others to perceive and talk about me—is a crucial aspect of personal growth. It may seem tempting to claim that we don’t care about others’ opinions, but let’s be honest: that’s a lie we often tell ourselves. In reality, we do care about what the people we ‘value’ think of us. The opinions of strangers shouldn’t carry significant weight in our lives—so, it’s important to discern whose opinions truly matter. This reminds me of a wise quote by Maya Angelou, who beautifully expressed “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” This resonates with me deeply. I strive for my interactions with others to leave a positive impact. Even if they can’t recall the specific circumstances, I want them to have a feeling of warmth and positivity from our encounter.
Ensuring that my self-reflection aligns with how others perceive me is essential to me. It embodies authenticity and integrity—an intrinsic part of who I am. Who you are, who you think you are, who you want to be and how others see you should be in alignment.
What’s your favourite quote or mantra?
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” I remember seeing that quote in a movie starring Samuel L Jackson. I can’t remember the name of the movie, but he kept asking the young man, What’s your deepest fear? He would ask him over and over. The young man in the movie was confused by the question initially. One day he was able to answer the question. What’s your deepest fear? He stood there…It makes me tear up. He stood there and he recited the whole poem by Marianne Williamson. A profound moment. The fear of success is real. You are basically raising the bar on yourself and that can be daunting enough for some to decide to do nothing. The poem was also used in Nelson Mandela’s inaugural speech.
I love that poem as well.
Yeah. We are constantly rationalizing ourselves out of our greatness and that’s kind of scary. I love affirmations, it’s a way to positively shift your inner voice. Another one of my favourite quotes from the book is, ‘If You don’t see it, create it. Make it happen.’ Right?!. Solve problems with your creations.
I like that. It flips the saying You can’t be what you don’t see. You are saying if you don’t see it, create it! Be it!
My final question for you is, what’s next for Sophia Jackson?
This is next, doing more of this. Building the brand, you know, creating Soulful Colour as a household name through the existing colouring books and launching the third book. Commanding stages. I want to be able to do more public speaking in forums like the one we met in. I’d love to do more of that and hone my skills. I really enjoyed that experience. It’s something that has been a recurring theme throughout my life from childhood that at some point, whether it be through music, singing and performing or as a speaker and impacting people in a positive way through my words. Its something that I have been passionate about. So that’s what’s next. Living my life and my business out loud.
When does the third book come out?
I just talked to my brother to get a sense of this because a lot of the time we are working on his timeline even though I always have a few balls in the air as well. I asked him if we could make sure it happens in time for Christmas 2023. So that would be like October, November that I have physical copies ready to take to vendor markets. I’m at the Botanical Gardens in Toronto in November for Christmas for the winter market. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that we make this deadline.
As you said before, they make great gifts. Thank you for taking time to speak with me today. I enjoyed every moment of our conversation. Thank you for sharing. I hope we will have another opportunity to speak again.
Yes, absolutely. We can make that happen. We can ‘create’ that.
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